Day 6 - 9: The Real Foundation (not that fake nonsense).

Here's the abridged version: Forms go up, forms come down.  A little Wahjah and waindwops and we have a foundation, folks!

Brrrrrr.  Who turned off the heat?  Remember a few days ago when I thought it was too hot?  I take it all back.

This is more of a recap of the week, given that most of the work done on the house was by other people, and there were a few days when no work could be done (more on that later).  Basically, The forms for the foundation were put up on Tuesday by some other guys in town, including Roger, or Wahjah, who unfortunately has two r's in his name and a hard time with pronunciation.  So the forms were up at the end of Tuesday.

It even comes with a moat.

So then the concrete was poured Wednesday and it was smooth sailing from there, right?  Easy there, slingblade.  Let's not get too hasty.  Wednesday morning there were maybe three or four drops of rain followed by an otherwise sunny day.  The foundation guys, however, see that as perfect "not working" weather and booked it before anyone could say otherwise.  That meant waiting another day.

Thursday rolls along, and it's game day.  12 noon and the foundation will be poured.  Nothing could possibly go wrong.  Everything is going according to plan.  I'm scheduled to scribe for the literacy test, so I'll just swing by after and things will be well on their way.

OOOOOORR, the pump truck will break down and we'll have no idea when it's going to come. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Pictured above, what everyone did for two hours.

When the pump truck is fixed and finally shows up, it's closer to 2pm.  The rest of the crew scrambles around the parapets of Castle Linzenstein and I am given the super important job of "pass me those pieces of rebar".  Rebar, I can only assume, is secretly what holds the whole house together.

Please don't drop my phone. Please don't drop my phone.

And so it goes.  Pump pump pump.  Scramble scramble scramble.  Then, once it's all done, you wait 24 hours, remove the forms and voila!  The part of the house that almost no one ever sees is complete!

This isn't Photoshop.  It actually looks this creepy.

Join us next week when Alex gets covered in tar, and then I have no idea what's next.

Later days.

Alex and Linzi.

Day 5: The Weep and Gravel.

So we're back.  No more crazy March weather.  It was fun while it lasted, but now it's 2 degrees like it's supposed to be.  That also means long johns and toques on the job.  Also, using the porta-potty as a wind shield when you think no one else is looking.  Oh yeahhhhh.

Today was another huge machinery day.  We had the stone slinger on site today.  If you're not sure what a stone slinger does... then I can't really help you.  I can, however, provide you with photographic evidence.

Seriously, the jokes just write themselves.

Speaking of frigid temperatures, it was cold enough that: a) the slinger's treads actually froze and took a while to get unstuck and started; and b) the little french man, who's nickname was Kermit (like the frog), was swearing the whole time with his super thick accent.  "I love my country but I 'ate the fuh-king weah-dur".  Good times.

Anyways, while Kermit slung stone, we installed weeping tile.  Linzi has asked me to provide you all with this wonderful joke:

Q: Why was the tile sad?

A: It was a WEEPING TILE!

WAHHHHHHHH!

The weeping tile, for you non-house people like me, is there to prevent flooding and provide drainage around the foundation.  If you don't want your basement to be an indoor swimming pool, it's probably a good thing to have around.  So, we cut the pipe to fit, ran it all around the semi, and then filled it in with more gravel.

With Kermit tossing gravel around willy nilly, we had to level and tamp it all down to prevent it from settling unevenly.  We want a house, not the leaning tower of Pisa.  So I was given a rake again (surprise, surprise) and we leveled out the stone to be the height of our footings.

Who needs a massage chair when you can just run that bad boy down your back a few times?

So there we are.  The forms for the foundation will go up tomorrow, probably, and then we will have more concrete and gravel, followed by... well, whatever comes next.  I'm not really sure.  In case you haven't noticed, I'm kinda new to the rodeo.

Later days.

Alex and Linzi.

Day 4: The Destruction.

I have a confession to make.  I've lied to you.  I know, I know, this is the last conversation I hoped to have with you.  I just can't keep it a secret anymore.  I can only hope you can forgive me.

Last post, I said that we had a foundation, and I have since been corrected.  Apparently the footings are FOR a foundation, and not a foundation in and of themselves.  I was confused because, having no idea what I'm doing, I decided to look up footings online and found this information.  It was an honest mistake, and I hope that someday you can learn to trust me again.

So, back to the building.  We had just finished pouring the FOOTINGS and definitely not the FOUNDATION when I came to work and found out we were then going to strip them.  While this may sound racy and exciting, it actually meant we were tearing down the forms that we built.  The thing we did for the last three days? Yeah, destroy that.

Poor thing.  It never had a chance.

Next thing you know, we're gonna be filling in the hole or something.

Oh, COME ON!

Because the footings are so large (due to the ground situation on the lot), it's much cheaper to fill the space around them with dirt up to a certain level, rather than filling the whole pit with gravel.  So, we essentially spent a day undoing all the other things we've done so far.  Groovy.

Some quick housekeeping things about the blog so far.  We may be cutting this down to every other day, or three times a week, depending on scheduling and what happens during the day.  Because of that, I've enabled following options on the page.  You can submit your email, and it will send you something every time it's updated, or use RSS links.  You could of course just add it to your favourites and check all the time too.  Whatever works.  I'm all about equal access.


Also, some people have asked me about commenting.  You don't need any special program or anything to comment.  If you click on a post you will see a comment box. Under it there is a drop down menu called "comment as".  From there, you can choose "Name/URL" and type your name.  That will allow you to comment.


That's about it for now.


Later days.


Alex and Linzi

Day 3: The Blisters

Today was a big day.  Huge.  Enormous.  Gigantic.

Feel free to add your own phallic jokes here.

But wait, it gets even better.  It was a giant vehicle bonanza at the site today.

Ten minutes later, Optimus Prime showed up.  Not kidding.

That big ole white arm thing is a pump truck, or pumper.  What it pumps, in case you were wondering, is concrete.  For the past few days we have been working hard building the forms for the house footings, the were then poured today.  The pumper eliminates the need to use a wheelbarrow to move concrete, which is both much slower and much more work.  Who has two thumbs and loves that?  Well... all of us, really.

Fill 'er with the regular, please.

So that big tube spits out concrete, which sounds a little bit like a blender mixed with the bubbling liquid in a witch's cauldron, and the rest of us work frantically to level out and tamp down the mixture to the chalk lines we spent an hour running on all the forms.  Of course, I had mixed success.  I was given the very important and technical job of "take this rake and push the concrete around", which I'm sure is the construction equivalent of telling the slow kid to keep score.  Regardless, I raked the crap out of that concrete.  It was leaf season all over the place.

See? Not a single leaf.  Only concrete someone else smoothed and leveled.

And there you have it, folks!  We have a foundation.  They say that a good foundation is important for success.  Being unsuccessful in house-building is probably not something I want to experience, so fingers crossed!

Later Days.

Alex and Linzi

PS. If you were wondering what the difference between cement and concrete is, then it's your lucky day!  Cement is a powder made from limestone and some other minerals that hardens when it gets wet.  Concrete is a grey sludge made out of cement, water and stone.

What's that? You didn't ask and this was useless knowledge?  Well... GI Joe says knowledge is power, so you're welcome.

Day 2: The Repeating

Dear Guy or Girl who decides the weather.  What's the deal?  I get it, everyone wants to be special and leave their mark, but 29 degrees in March? Come on.


So this is day 2.  Yesterday we finished the day by building forms.  Today we... built forms.  Apparently the ground upon which we will place our house is at just the right height that the soil is a jerk, and the forms must therefore be taller.  What is a form, you may be asking?  I haven't a friggin' clue.  It has to do with concrete, lots of heavy boards, and a butt tonne of stakes.

And now we're ready for the vampire invasion.  Bring it, bloodsuckers!

Today I was given a hammer, and hammer I did.  As I write this, my wrist is killing me, because apparently my joints aren't down with this whole "working" thing.  As I drove 3 1/2 inch nails like a bike with no seat (slowly and awkwardly), I realised that throughout my time building sets, we always used screws.  Nails would make striking too cumbersome, so drills and brad nailers did all the work while us delicate theatre folk tried our best to avoid splinters.

So. Many. Splinters.

Now, to be completely honest, there are many rules and regulations in construction.  Most people are aware that hard hats, safety glasses, and proper footwear are necessary for working in this environment.  There is another, however, that you may not be aware of.  All construction sites must have toilet facilities for workers.  So today we got our "on-suite bathroom" installed.

Whatever you do, DO NOT take a bath.

Although it was an incredibly hot, long, and tiring day, it may not look like much was finished..  You'll have to just trust me when I say this is hard work.  I'm usually and honest, upstanding individual.  Or maybe you can judge for yourself.

Uhh... Progress?

Later days.


Alex and Linzi


PS: Yesterday, Linzi told her class that she was building a new house, and told them at the moment, she only had a hole (that we were digging).  One of her students thought for a second, then said; "Wait, you live in a hole!?!".  They are the future...

Day 1: The Beginning.

It's 7AM.  Tuesday.  The weather forecast says 26 degrees (in MARCH!) and there's not a cloud in the sky.  Let's go dig a hole!


So away I go, with my hard hat and rubber boots, to build a house.  More accurately, today we dug, and dug, and stood around, and then dug.  First we had to dig out the water and sewer lines, which are apparently very important for housing.  After getting deep enough to uncover the lines, we installed the pipes for the semi and ensured they were secure and graded properly.

Pictured above: not me.  The Leclerc Brothers are deciding where to hide the body.

The sewer lines have to run at an angle enough so that... solids... won't stall in the middle.  To make sure they're kosher, we play the worst game of skeeball you can imagine, passing a ball through the tubes to make sure it can get all the way through on its own.  45 minutes later (and a lot of gravel) and we're ready to go.

It's the only carnival game that no one wants the high score for.

After lunch is building forms.  If you don't know what that means, it should really be called "lug giant 2x10's all over the place and then nail them together".  If at any point during this process we were to have a Three Stooges skit break out, it would be at this moment of large cumbersome boards traversing what I have begun to call "the pit".

Larry, Curly, and Moe at their day job.

So now we have a hole.  A few curtains, a coat of paint, and I bet it'll feel just like home.


Later days,


Alex and Linzi

Day 0: The Introduction.

Hello, and welcome.  We are Alex and Linzi, and this is our blog.  It's a blog about our house, which a looks a little something like this:

Ain't it pretty?

So this will be our account of how we turn this mud puddle (and ALL OF OUR MONEY) into our first home. Join us, it'll be fun.

This thing has to keep me alive.  I REALLY hope I put it together right...

If you enjoy this blog, please send money, appliances, furniture, or labour to Cornwall, Ontario.


Later days.


Alex & Linzi


PS. Linzi wanted to add this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXA6CLTDekw&ob=av3n "to get everyone in the house building spirit"